It’s been a while since my last update on my health journey, although I’m experiencing an upturn in my health, uncertainty still lingers
Due to Vasculitis my feet were all swollen up, I had several deep wounds on my feet and ankle. Next to this I wasn’t able to walk and sometimes lifting and holding simple things in my hand was almost impossible. As a helpful aid in managing inflammation I was on Prednisone. While it served its purpose and enabled me to regain some normalcy in my life, It allowed me to walk again and hold things with my hands. However the severity of the pain I experienced in my feet led to the adoption of morphine painkillers, allowing me some relief amidst the relentless discomfort. In the meantime I’m happy that I’m no longer on Prednisone and/or morphine painkillers.
Despite these measures, the progress is little to none! I had already read that in 50% of cases, the root causes of vasculitis might not be found, but I was hoping that I could be in the “good” 50% side! Wishful thinking of course, since the mystery surrounding the origin of my health struggles continues to puzzle both me and the medical team. After numerous appointments, tests, and consultations, we’re still unable to identify the root cause. This feeling of uncertainty has become a constant presence in this journey.
Acceptance is somehow a new word in this situation and has become an unexpected yet necessary part of this process. I need to come to terms with the idea that certain questions might never be answered. It’s a challenging mindset to adopt to be honest. Having said that, each appointment, test and talk with the doctors feels like we’re getting closer to unlocking this puzzle. So next to acceptance there is also patience which helps me deal with this situation.
I’m uncertain about what lies ahead and whether I’ll discover the answers I seek, but I’m incredibly thankful to feel okay at this point. The support from my friends and family means the world to me, being able to work again and pick up my hobbies brings an added sense of fulfillment. Also, being able to spend time and doing fun things with my daughters again brings a deep sense of gratitude into my life!
Photo by Evan Dennis on Unsplash
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